This is no ordinary love letter
Dear reader,
On January 1st I wrote a post titled 7 ways to love yourself more in 2011. I didn’t have any specific new year’s resolutions but rather ongoing aspirations like learning to trust my intuition, to keep enjoying and exploring sex, to be financially astute etc., things that contribute to loving myself more. And loved I have. I hope you have too?
By love I mean I have been afraid, disappointed, mad, frustrated and empty but I did not forget what matters. I still had me, I was complete sentiment within. I was mad perhaps, but just fine. That’s when I knew, I knew. To free myself of desire had left an opening for love, to know something is to have it. I contain everything in me; fear is a part of love; wood is a part of fire. There is pace in time and yet time is the only thing that is still. What I intuit is what I trust, there lies love lies love. lies. love. I learnt even more about love throughout the year: That love will not be televised (you will not be able to stay at home, brother…you will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out…). Nope, love will not appear on a cinema screen, in a bank account or an iPad in a fast car or with photoshopped legs.
Love, like revolution, is radical change. It spins you around your own axis until you have no choice but to observe it, to claim it, to live in the middle of a panoramic vista of existence. Everything…Love is everything. The Chinese philosopher Confucius is to have said, “To love a thing means wanting it to live”. And I learnt that I want to live. I want Africa to live. I want humanity to live.
Unfortunately, humanity does not love itself. The time span we call 2011 proved this disturbing thing even further. So much went wrong this year, I’m not going to bother with examples as I’m sure you remember perfectly well. Nevertheless remarkable changes too happened. it was the year of the woman, Africa Is A Country said and I agree. Masses protested around the world, which means love was getting fed up of contradiction and pervasively present. Naomi Klein spoke of the radical nature of caring in the occupy movement. And in Ghana breast-sucking in public spaces finally became a trend! (Nigeria – Ghana, 1 – 0 *wink*)
(Actually before any chales vex ehn, Ghana already scored seven previously)
Love of the type of eros, or romance if you prefer, is also revolutionary. Yet for many of us love of that sort is hard to find and keep. In heterosexual relationships, which are all I can testify for I guess, we find it hard to deeply connect because we associate primarily with the pleasures, and hardly with the hardships, of man- and womanhood. We want sexual passion without sexual equality. We assign qualities like promiscuity to maleness and vulnerability to femininity. Before we even start a romantic affair our minds have been confined to dangerous, limited frames through which we observe the person in our lives. That is not love. When the initial thrill ends we lack the tools to sustain it so we create more rules, we call them family values or tradition or something. We don’t allow noninstituionalized love into our lives, but if we do, the connection revolutionizes our bodies, spirits and minds.
In 2011, MsAfropolitan grew and grew thanks to you. Thank you so much. Your support, encouragement and engagement has been the most memorable event in 2011.
I look forward to more blogging in 2012.
One love! Happy New Year! Ashe!
Minna_______________________________
MsAfropolitan is the blog of Minna Salami, writer and commentator on Africa, African feminism, race, identity and founder of MsAfropolitan.com.
The way you write about one of life’s enduring mystery’s, love, is evocative and meaningful. Thanks for putting it into a universal context. It is what makes the world go round,after all, and we all need to be reminded of this from time to time. Have a great 2012 Ms. Afropolitan. Long may your enterprising and creative spirit flourish…!
Thank you for the comment. Hope to see you here again soon. Happy new year!
Yes, to love! (All kinds of love).
Happy New Year Minna, and looking forward to reading more of your blog in 2012.
Thanks Val, you too, happy 2012!
Just found tyou via AfriPop and am quite intrigued/impressed by your writing. Im taking notes and enjoying your words. Keep up the good work sis. “Right on” from Cali!
Hi, thanks a lot for stopping by and for the kind comment