Smart women should watch porn

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fishburne family fued Smart women should watch porn

I probably should not title a blog post like this. After all, both my parents and maybe even some of my friends parents and who knows, maybe their parents parents read my blog.

However, with the news of Laurence Fishburne’s daughter, Montana Fishburne (aka Chippy D), deciding to go into the porn industry at 19yrs, I felt I wanted to write this post.

For those of you that don’t know, Montana Fishburne, who wishes to become an actress has decided to follow the footsteps of Kim Kardashian and become a porn star to boost her career.

Now Laurence Fishburne is a role model. If one could look up ‘proud black man’ in an encyclopedia, his image might pop up. He is wealthy, good looking (enough), smart and outspoken. Not the kind of man whose daughter one might think would end up a porn star, especially given that he himself was a virgin when he started his acting career. Yet any man’s daughter can end up a porn star, and many do every day.

Basically, I’m concerned by the overbearing online reaction being that because Montana is who she is it’s somehow worse. Every young girl going into porn is a sad story.

Smart women should watch porn, and by watch I mean observe

One reason it’s always a sad story is because violent and abusive porn is becoming so popular that even the porn industry is shocked over the demand for it. As a smart woman it’s important to be aware of porn trends to understand where intimacy problems and violence can stem from. The average age a boy starts watching porn at nowadays is 11, and researchers in the sex arena agree that the earlier a man starts watching abusive porn the more difficult it will be for him to be in an intimate relationship with a woman who does not like extreme porn type of sex.

Did you know there are sites where men can rate the violence in porn tapes, and sites where prostitutes too are rated based on how obscene they are willing to act? Smart women should observe that we are now bringing up a generation of boys on cruel porn, and that whilst porn is becoming more mainstream, with even pop stars getting naked in videos, it is simultaneously becoming more savage with videos of women being dragged on their faces, having their mouths clamped for penetration etc. easily accessible.

We need for our brothers and fathers to take a stand against this kind of porn, because otherwise we cannot blame anyone but ourselves for our daughters going into the industry.

Beware though, if you oppose violent porn, many will wrongly label you as a woman who doesn’t like sex, or men, or both combined. Re-educate them, let them know that there is a porn industry which is more ‘ethical’, whether or not you oppose that one as well, it does exist.

Porn in Africa

Africans have not gravitated towards violently pornographic websites the way other continents have. There could be many reasons for this; cultural values as well as bandwidth issues seem to play a role. Some statistics say that extreme porn is more largely a white problem than a hispanic or black one in general.  Could this be true and why?

If it is, then I really and truly hope that we can maybe even lead by example in this particular area. Violence towards young girls is not OK on TV, online or in real life.

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  • Lara

    “Some statistics say that extreme porn is more largely a white problem than a hispanic or black one in general.” I agree – it speaks volumes about Western society and its post-slavery neo-colonialistic intrinsic violence. Violence is everywhere, fuelled by our very own winner-takes-it-all mentality: it informs trade, social and intimate relationships, and is of course reflected in pornography.

    • http://www.mwanabaafrika.blogspot.com/ MBA

      It is quite sad that now with people readily having the tools on their phones, cameras and things that nude pictures, sexting and sex videos are made to seem normal and prerequisites for fame and fortune. The fact that these things can become viral so quickly as it is so easy to publish and disseminate such materials is even more disturbing.

      Sometimes, for all the worldiness of a cosmopolitan African I have, I feel like a prude when I get upset at women who feel that they need to sell themselves in order to get ahead. Then I remember my parents raised me with African pride, so I am not afraid of my body, but know my limits and I use my brain to get ahead. We need more people to speak out about this, not just at home, but in the media too. Celebs glamourise and glorify this kind of behaviour which is only going to perpetuate it.

      • MsAfropolitan

        @MBA
        Absolutely! We are blessed those of us who know that real value is not in the physical or in abusing the physical, thanks for sharing that.

        How I wish that some high profile person could speak out against this, unfortunately the way the world works we need some celeb to tell us what is right and wrong it seems.

        Maybe Laurence Fishburne will start a campaign of some sort, that would be great…

    • MsAfropolitan

      @ Lara – There is this link between all of society, isn’t there? Your comment reminds me of the war porn images from Iraq (and elsewhere of course). Society condemns those but allows websites with similar and worse material to stay up to everyone’s access, it’s hypocritical.

  • http://www.inconsequentiallogic.com Roschelle

    I was talking about this the other day in a comment I posted on a blog. I forget which…lol. But I was talking about the overwhelming desensitization all of us are faced with.

    Violent movies, violent “porn”, violent video games, violence on the 24 hour news channels. Our minds have to process far more detrimental things than I think humans have at any other point in history. And it’s all right at our finger tips.

    These trends truly need to change. Better parental restriction, some sort of censorship regarding these “outrageous” porn sites.

    any other ideas?

    • MsAfropolitan

      I think short-term certainly better restrictions on porn sites that include violent/absuive footage, maybe a password could be required. Any little boy can log onto these sites as it is now, they just have to click on the futile banner that confirms that they are 18.
      Long-term I would support legislation that would deem the same acts that are general offenses such as racism, rape and violence to be offenses in pornography – which also is a remarkably racist industry.
      Also, regular controls of porn production companies needs to be monitored – the link between sex trafficking and pornography should not be allowed to prevail as freely as it does.

      In Sweden the swedish film institute has actually funded porn, which was labeled feminist porn. I think this might be helpful in developing an alternative option

  • http://vickii-ibakethereforeiam.blogspot.com/ Vickii

    This is an interesting topic!

    I wrote my undergrad dissertation on the two main schools of feminist thought on porn. One side states that all pornography is violence against women and all inequality in society stems from porn as men treat women in real life as they see women in porn being treated. The other side is more moderate; yes some porn is violet and that is wrong but we can’t give porn so much power as to suggest that it defines the relationship between men and women.

    For me, as porn will always be around; I think the most important thing is that there are always alternatives to the violent and degrading films … ‘good, clean porn’ so to speak and perhaps some restrictions as to what can be portrayed in films (though that brings up the issue of stifling freedom of expression and creativity). And the protection of the people (women especially) who unfortunately choose to be part of the industry e.g. condoms being used, more women power players (not just actresses) in porn etc.

    Porn is a big topic and one that doesn’t get addressed enough.

    • MsAfropolitan

      There are more than two main schools of feminism! There are even pro-porn feminists, but then radical feminists will be prone to condemn those. feminism, like most ‘isms’ is very broad.

      I point this out because I think it’s important that campaigns against violent porn are not seen as feminist campaigns only.
      In order to write this blog, I went on to a few websites containing violent porn (very easily might I add) and I was in absolute state of shock over how violent it is – it’s much worse than I could ever imagine – and I took of my rose-tinted glasses a very long time ago.

      Issues of violence in porn, videogames, war, street gangs etc.. is a human issue not a feminist issue.

      As far as there being alternatives in the form of ‘clean porn’, what we should understand is that statistics say that ‘violent’ porn is what is on highest demand. So yes, clean porn exists and always will, but it’s worrying that violent porn is what is growing so rapidly.

      You are absolutely right Vickii, the topic needs to be addressed more. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, always thought-provoking :)

      • http://vickii-ibakethereforeiam.blogspot.com/ Vickii

        Yo! (My new thing:D)I completely agree that feminism is extremely broad! At the time I wrote my dissertation though, about 7 years ago, feminist discourse on porn was split into two main camps – the smaller, radical, camp were those who more or less thought porn was the root of all evil (almost quite literally). The second camp was extremely broad and borne out of the extremist reaction by the first camp. It encompassed varied and sometimes conflicting opinions on porn from the fact that it is a creative medium, to saying porn doesn’t define us as women, we define ourselves, to wanting to create female friendly porn. The thing which bound that camp together was their refusal to accept the assertion that pornography creates and defines the way women are treated in our world.

        • MsAfropolitan

          Where did you place yourself or what was the outcome of your study?
          I would love to read that Vickii!
          I wrote similar papers when studying gender in uni.

  • http://vickii-ibakethereforeiam.blogspot.com/ Vickii

    * Meant to say ‘was born in opposition to the extremist reaction by the first camp’.

  • Kiri

    Great post. I would add that another worrying trend is porn becoming mainstream, the rebranding – be it the myth of the “happy whore” (Cutesy films like Burlesque, or the usual good girl trying to pay her way through college – yes, it happens but not as often as the media would have us believe) through to the spate of movies aimed at teens in which women are just there for sex and have no personality, no character – they are just a collection of breasts and ass, there to be tapped eg Knocked Up, Fast and Furious – I know that sometimes they are comedies, but this growing trend to make porn seem “okay”, empowering even, sanitises the reality of violence and abuse which affects so many women, children and even men.

    • MsAfropolitan

      Thanks for the comment Kiri.

      It feels like such an impossible thing to revert as it’s become so mainstream that people stop distinguishing between what is real and what is fiction. But maybe the more daughters/friends/cousins/sisters start going into the industry because it is so mainstream, maybe more people will start reacting.

      I can’t imagine anything more soul-destroying than being a stripper/pornstar/prostitute. I think the “happy whore” is indeed a myth.

      • Max

        More soul-destroying than Stripping, Prostitution & Porn is becoming the Unwilling, Innocent, Victim of Female Genital Mutilation (Grades 1-4) ..Redraws some kind of balance, doesn’t it? ..but does either group have a choice? Do we need to redraw the balance, rather, with a fairer economic system to afford ALL Females Financial Independence, with ENOUGH money to survive alone with our Children, therefore, Total Independence from Global male oppression? There should be only ONE state for Female gender ..and that’s The State of Independence! ..then The Dream of Dr Martin Luther King can, at last, come true when all Men shall be Free and we will ALL live in the New True ‘Jerusalem’. Hallelujah! ;) (see Mashua Against FGM. STOP FGM NOW! Waris Dirie Foundation. NO to FGM! amongst many other groups) Can you feel the Force?

        • MsAfropolitan

          oh yes, I can feel the force!

          thanks, will check those

  • gifty

    Minna, I salute you for having the courage to address this issue, our youth are being destroyed by such a vile and crude form of entertainment…I know of so many young people (as young as 9) struggling with porn addiction, mainly because their parents leave them at home alone to work through the night, tv becomes the babysitter that they even know the numbers of the free porn channels of by heart! many teenage girls are participating in group sex in order to get paid! I was saddened when a group of young boys that I know were getting excited over a video msg on their phone – a graphic illustration of black porn. they were laughing and passing it around the bus as if it was a joke! I can only imagine the future.

    • MsAfropolitan

      omg thanks for sharing these experiences. it worries me how so many people act as though things don’t have consequences. it’s beyond me how so many parents turn a blind eye to the games their kids play and the kinda crap they watch online.

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  • http://None Purpose

    I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THAT, PORN IS EVIL.
    NOW I ALSO WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT, GOD WHO CREATE THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE HATES EVIL BUT LOVES EVERYONE. IT DOES MEAN THAT WE CAN DO EVIL BECAUSE HE LOVES US.
    HE HAS SET A DAY TO JUDGE THE WORLD AND WILL PUNISH ALL THOSE WHO ENGAGE IN EVIL ACTS, THEREFORE I WANT TO HIGHLIGHT ON THE FACT THAT, PORN IS EVIL AND ALL MUST NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DI WITH IT.
    IF YOU ARE IN IT (BOTH WATCHING AND ACTING), PRAY TO GOD TO HELP YOU COME OUT IMMEDIATELY AND IF YOU ARE NOT IN IT (BOTH WATCHING AND ACTING) PRAY THAT GOD WILL GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO LIVE FOR HIM.

  • http://themodernafrican.blogspot.com.au/ Rue

    Great post, very thought provoking. I think porn is a more white problem than any other race and I do think other cultures have embedded values that they cannot remove. I have noticed that addiction to porn is only admitted by whites and they are more likely to recognise it. I think the reason why we dont hear about black people having problems with porn is because they dont want to admit it whether this is an ego thing or they dont want to embarrass their family. I wrote a blog post on this you might find interesting http://themodernafrican.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/the-code-of-silence.html